JAPAN GETTING THERE IS NOT MUCH FUN " I WOULDN'T MIND " 
SAID THE ANXIOUS HOUSEWIFE AT THE ATAMI STATION OF JAPAN'S NATIONAL 
RAILWAYS, " EXCEPT THEY WERE A NEW YEAR'S GIFT FROM MY 
HUSBAND AND HE WILL KILL ME IF HE FINDS THEY ARE 
MISSING . HE WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED . " AN 
UNDERSTANDING MAN, THE STATIONMASTER WIRED AHEAD TO NAGOYA . SURE ENOUGH, 
IN ONE OF THE EMPTY CARS, THERE WERE THE BLACK LACE 
PANTIES THAT THE WOMAN HAD BEEN WEARING UNTIL SHE WAS CAUGHT 
IN THE RIB-CRUNCHING FREE-FOR-ALL INVOLVED IN GETTING ON AND OFF A 
TRAIN IN JAPAN . THE LADY'S PLIGHT, PRESUMABLY THE RESULT OF 
FAILING ELASTIC OR FLAILING HANDS, IS A FAMILIAR ONE TO HARRIED 
J.N.R . OFFICIALS . THEIR LOST-AND-FOUND WAREHOUSES BULGE WITH AN INVENTORY 
THAT WOULD DO A DEPARTMENT STORE PROUD :. 1,800,000 ITEMS, INCLUDING 
25,000 WRISTWATCHES, 310,000 UMBRELLAS, 180,000 BOOKS, 400,000 PIECES OF CLOTHING, RANGING 
FROM GARTER BELTS TO GREATCOATS, FOUR URNS CONTAINING HUMAN ASHES (PRAYED 
OVER DAILY BY REVERENT WAREHOUSE EMPLOYEES), AN ELECTRIC MOTOR, ONE PINBALL 
MACHINE, FALSE TEETH, AND SEVERAL FALSE EYEBALLS . ONLY 15 PER 
CENT OF THE ITEMS ARE RECLAIMED . BY AUCTIONING THE REST, 
AND BY POCKETING UNCLAIMED CASH, THE RAILWAYS GROSSED $150,000 IN 1962 
. TO REDUCE THE SIZE OF ITS UNWANTED HOARD, THE RAILWAYS 
ARE NOW BROADCASTING URGENT ANNOUNCEMENTS ON TRAINS REMINDING PASSENGERS TO TAKE 
THEIR BOX LUNCHES AND BRIEFCASES . BURIAL URNS ARE NEVER MENTIONED, 
SAID ONE OFFICIAL, BECAUSE " IT'S RATHER POOR TASTE " TO 
SAY SOMETHING LIKE " PLEASE CHECK TO SEE YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN 
YOUR GRANDMOTHER . " BUT NOBODY EXPECTED THE CAMPAIGN TO DO 
MUCH GOOD . WHILE FORGETFULNESS IS MUCH TO BLAME, SO IS 
OVERCROWDING . EVERY DAY, 36 MILLION JAPANESE RIDE THE TRAINS, 4,200,000 
IN TOKYO ALONE . AT RUSH HOURS, 350 COMMUTERS JAM INTO 
CARS DESIGNED FOR 100, HELPED BY BRAWNY STUDENTS WHO ARE PAID 
150 YEN (42 #$ ) AN HOUR TO STAND ON THE 
PLATFORM AND SHOEHORN PEOPLE INSIDE . WHEN THE DOORS OPEN, THE 
SCRIMMAGE BEGINS ; CRACKED RIBS ARE NOT UNCOMMON . IN SUCH 
CIRCUMSTANCES, THE PASSENGER'S FIRST CONCERN IS FOR HIS SAFETY, NOT FOR 
HIS PACKAGES OR EVEN HIS CLOTHES . IN FACT, SO MANY 
COMMUTERS LOSE THEIR SHOES FIGHTING THEIR WAY OFF THE TRAINS THAT 
THE BIGGER STATIONS NOW KEEP A SUPPLY OF ASSORTED SHOES ON 
HAND . 