THAILAND ALAS, POOR ELEPHAS ! HE'S LOSING CLASS WHEN KING BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ 
LAST WEEK CELEBRATED HIS 36TH BIRTHDAY A PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT ANNIVERSARY TO 
THAIS, WHO MEASURE LIFE IN TWELVE-YEAR CYCLES TRADITIONALISTS WERE SADDENED NOT 
TO FIND A SINGLE ROYAL ELEPHANT TAKING PART IN THE ELABORATE 
CEREMONIES . IN THAILAND, AS ELSEWHERE IN ASIA, THE ONCE ENORMOUS 
IMPORTANCE OF THE ELEPHANT HAS DECLINED DRASTICALLY . WHILE ELEPHANT OWNERSHIP 
IS STILL CONSIDERED PRESTIGIOUS, A NEW CADILLAC OR MERCEDES (THE KING 
OWNS SEVERAL OF EACH) NOW RATES FAR HIGHER AS A STATUS 
SYMBOL THAN A MATURE, 15-YEAR-OLD ELEPHAS MAXIMUS WITH 40 YEARS OF 
RUGGED MILEAGE AHEAD OF HIM . NO PARKING . THAILAND NOW 
HAS FEWER THAN 10,000 REGISTERED WORKING ELEPHANTS V . SOME 150,000 
AUTOMOBILES . SAYS ONE OLD-SCHOOL THAI : " OH, YES, RICH 
MEN STILL USE ELEPHANTS, BUT ONLY WHEN THEY GO INTO THE 
FOREST TO WORK . WHERE FRIENDS CAN SEE THEM, THEY RIDE 
AUTOMOBILES INSTEAD . " WHILE THE USED-ELEPHANT MARKET HAS BEEN SERIOUSLY 
DEPRESSED BY AUTOMATION, A MAHOUT-MAINTAINED MODEL WITH BUCKET SEAT, TWO-TONE UMBRELLA 
AND STICK SHIFT COSTS UP TO 1,500 F.O.B . BANGKOK, OR 
ABOUT $4,000 DELIVERED AT THE BRONX ZOO . IN THAILAND A 
U-RIDE-IT ELEPHANT IS STILL A BARGAIN AT $2.50 A DAY (ONE 
TENTH AS MUCH AS A RENTED TRUCK) AND IS STILL HARD 
TO BEAT WHEN IT COMES TO BIRD WATCHING, SPRAYING TREETOPS OR 
HAULING LOGS . BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND PACHYDERM PARKING 
SPACE IN BANGKOK . SHRUGS A TAXICAB MAHOUT : " ELEPHANT 
TOO MUCH FIGHTING, TOO MUCH KICKING, TOO MUCH EATING . I 
LIKE PLYMOUTH . PLYMOUTH ONLY TAKES GAS ONE TIME A DAY 
. " WHITE MODEL NOSTALGIC THAIS RECALL THE GLORIOUS DAYS WHEN 
SIAM'S ELEPHANT CORPS WAS ITS DREADED FORCE DE FRAPPE. AS A 
MEMBER OF SEATO, THAILAND NOWADAYS SETS MORE STORE BY ITS U.S 
. SUPPLY TANKS . NONETHELESS, ALLOWS COLONEL DAMNERN LEKHAKUL, A MILITARY 
HISTORIAN ATTACHED TO THE THAI GENERAL STAFF, " IF A WAR 
COMES, WE MAY HAVE TO RELY ON ELEPHANTS FOR JUNGLE COMBAT 
OR IF WE RUN OUT OF GAS . " MOST THAIS 
ALSO STILL BELIEVE, WITH EDWARD TOPSELL, AN EARLY 17TH CENTURY BESTIARIST, 
THAT THE ELEPHANT IS A " GREAT AND AMPLE DEMONSTRATION OF 
THE POWER AND WISDOM OF ALMIGHTY GOD " PARTICULARLY THE WHITE 
VARIETY . KING BHUMIBOL HAS DEMOCRATICALLY QUARTERED HIS OWN NINE-YEAR-OLD WHITE 
MODEL IN THE BANGKOK ZOO . THERE, WHEN HE REACHES MATURITY 
IN A FEW YEARS, THE HANDSOME SPECIMEN MAY BECOME THE FIRST 
WHITE ELEPHANT EVER TO BE MATED IN CAPTIVITY . THEY INSIST 
TO THIS DAY THAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN SHOULD HAVE ACCEPTED THEIR KING 
MONGKUT'S TIMELY OFFER OF ELEPHANTS IN 1862 . REGRETFULLY, LINCOLN EXPLAINED 
TO THE KING THAT THE U.S . CLIMATE DID NOT " 
FAVOR THE MULTIPLICATION OF THE ELEPHANT . " IT IS POSSIBLE, 
NONETHELESS, THAT IF THE UNION HAD BEEN ABLE TO FIELD A 
PACHYDERM PANZER DIVISION, THE U.S . CIVIL WAR MIGHT HAVE BEEN 
FORESHORTENED . 