GREAT BRITAIN BOBBIES IN TROUBLE WHEN CONSTABULARY DUTY'S TO BE DONE, THE 
POLICEMAN'S LOT IS NOT A HAPPY ONE . THE PIRATES OF 
PENZANCE TO THE U.S . TOURIST DRIVING ON THE RIGHT BUT 
WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, OR HOPELESSLY DEMANDING A DRINK AT 
MIDNIGHT, THE LONDON POLICE SEEM PARAGONS OF PATIENCE . WHETHER BREAKING 
UP A RACE RIOT OR GINGERLY PLUCKING ANTI-NUCLEAR SQUATTERS FROM THE 
PAVEMENT, THE BRAWNY, PINK-CHEEKED BOBBY ALMOST NEVER RESORTS TO THE PANICKY 
BRUTALITY OF THE FRENCH FLIC OR THE OFFICIOUS ZEAL OF THE 
GERMAN POLIZIST . BRITAIN'S POLICE, ARMED ONLY WITH A NIGHT STICK, 
STILL BELIEVE IN POUNDING A BEAT . ITS STREETS AND PARKS 
AFTER DARK ARE AMONG THE WORLD'S SAFEST ; AND WHILE AN 
ENGLISH HOUSEHOLDER IS AWAY ON VACATION, LIKELY AS NOT THE BOBBIES 
WILL KEEP AN EYE ON HIS FRONT DOOR . BUT IN 
RECENT YEARS, AND PARTICULARLY SINCE THE PROFUMO-KEELER-WARD SCANDALS, BRITONS HAVE COME 
TO SUSPECT THAT THEIR POLICE ARE NOT ONLY MARKEDLY LESS PROFICIENT 
AT KEEPING THE QUEEN'S PEACE THAN OF OLD, BUT MAY ALSO 
HAVE BECOME LESS SCRUPULOUS IN UPHOLDING THE TRADITIONALLY HIGH STANDARDS OF 
BRITISH JUSTICE . SMARTER CROOKS . WHEN IT COMES TO SOLVING 
CRIME, IT IS STILL ELEMENTARY TO CALL IN SCOTLAND YARD . 
LAST WEEK, LED BY SUCH WISE OLD BLUEBOTTLES AS COMMANDER GEORGE 
HATHERILL, 65, THE YARD'S DEAN OF SLEUTHS, WHO SPEAKS EIGHT LANGUAGES 
AND HAS SOLVED 17 MURDERS, YARD MEN INVESTIGATING THE GREAT BUCKINGHAMSHIRE 
TRAIN ROBBERY SUCCEEDED IN ROUNDING UP NINE SUSPECTS, RECOVERED $761,367 OF 
THE $7,000,000 LOOT . ALSO ON HAND WERE ERNEST MILLEN, BOSS 
OF THE FLYING SQUAD, ALIAS THE HEAVY MOB, WHOSE 100-ODD SLEUTHS 
KNOW MORE ABOUT THE UNDERWORLD THAN DANTE ; AND THE TERRIBLE 
TWINS, TOP DETECTIVES TOM BUTLER AND PETER VIBART, WHO HAVE CRACKED 
MANY A BIG CASE TOGETHER . YET SO FAR AT LEAST, 
THE GANG'S RINGLEADERS WERE STILL AT LARGE . EVEN WITHOUT SUCH 
HUMILIATIONS AT THE HANDS OF MASTER CROOKS, THE LOT OF BRITAIN'S 
76,530 POLICEMEN IS AN INCREASINGLY UNHAPPY ONE . THE NATION'S POLICE 
FORCES ARE CRITICALLY UNDERMANNED (AUTHORIZED STRENGTH : 82,313), SADLY UNDERPAID (SERGEANT'S 
PAY AVERAGES $3,000 A YEAR) AND, IN MANY CRITICS' EYES, UNDEREDUCATED 
. IN RECENT YEARS, POLICE RECRUITS HAVE INCLUDED NOT A SINGLE 
UNIVERSITY GRADUATE ; ONLY ABOUT 10 PER CALL NEW BOBBIES HAVE 
THE EQUIVALENT OF A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA . BRITISH CRIMINALS, BY 
CONTRAST, ARE BECOMING MORE IMAGINATIVE AND TECHNICALLY PROFICIENT EVERY YEAR . 
AS FOR SCOTLAND YARD, EVEN ITS STAUNCHEST ADMIRERS ADMIT THAT THE 
LEGEND TENDS TO OVERSHADOW PERFORMANCE . OF A RECORD NUMBER OF 
CRIMES REPORTED IN LONDON LAST YEAR, FEWER THAN 25 PER CENT 
WERE SOLVED ; POLICE HAVE RECOVERED NONE OF THE 700,000 STOLEN 
IN FOUR MAJOR ROBBERIES FROM ONE BANK DURING THE PAST THREE 
YEARS . IN THE WOODSHED . AS FOR THE PROFUMO CASE, 
THOUGH AN OFFICIAL INQUIRY INTO ITS SECURITY ASPECTS IS NEARLY COMPLETE, 
THE GOVERNMENT HAS GIVEN LITTLE ASSURANCE THAT IT WILL LESSEN WHAT 
THE ECONOMIST RECENTLY CALLED " THE ALREADY CUMBROUS WEIGHT OF SUSPICION 
THAT THERE IS SOMETHING NASTY IN THE WOODSHED . " LAST 
WEEK THE LABOR PARTY'S " SHADOW " FOREIGN SECRETARY, PATRICK GORDON 
WALKER, CALLED FOR A ROYAL COMMISSION TO INVESTIGATE THE ROLES PLAYED 
THROUGHOUT BY THE GOVERNMENT, JUDICIARY AND POLICE . AMONG OTHER HINTS 
OF NASTINESS IN THE WOODSHED, OR THE POLICE STATION, BRITONS WERE 
PERTURBED BY RECENT CHARGES THAT SCOTLAND YARD HAD BROWBEATEN A CONVICTED 
PROSTITUTE INTO TESTIFYING AGAINST WARD (SHE LATER RECANTED), AND BY SPECULATION 
THAT POLICE DELIBERATELY FAILED TO PRODUCE A DEFENSE WITNESS AT THE 
TRIAL OF " LUCKY " GORDON, THE JAMAICAN SINGER WHO WAS 
IMPRISONED ON CHARGES OF BEATING CHRISTINE KEELER, AND LATER MYSTERIOUSLY FREED 
. SINCE THERE IS NO WATERTIGHT SEPARATION OF EXECUTIVE, JUDICIAL AND 
LEGISLATIVE POWERS IN BRITAIN'S UNWRITTEN CONSTITUTION, THE DISQUIETING IMPLICATION TO MANY 
BRITONS WAS THAT, IN ITS EMBARRASSMENT OVER THE PROFUMO SCANDAL, THE 
GOVERNMENT HAD EXERTED EXTRAORDINARY PRESSURE TO PUT WARD BEHIND BARS . 
IF SUCH SUSPICIONS ARE UNFAIR, THERE WAS LITTLE LIKELIHOOD THAT THEY 
WOULD EVER BE FULLY INVESTIGATED, LET ALONE REFUTED . DANGER TO 
DEMOCRACY .E MANY OTHER LEGACIES OF 19TH CENTURY BRITAIN, THE LAW 
ENFORCEMENT SYSTEM SEEMS ALMOST TO HAVE BEEN DESIGNED NOT TO WORK 
. TO SOME EXTENT, IT WAS . SIR ROBERT PEEL, WHO 
IN 1829 ORGANIZED THE FIRST MODERN FORCE (AND GAVE THE BOBBIES 
HIS NAME), ADMITTED TO GRAVE MISGIVINGS THAT IT MIGHT BE USED 
AS AN INSTRUMENT OF TYRANNY . UNLIKE A SOLDIER OR CIVIL 
SERVANT, THE BRITISH POLICEMAN IS NOT A " SERVANT OF THE 
CROWN " BUT HAS THE AMBIGUOUS LEGAL STATUS OF A UNIFORMED 
CIVILIAN WHO IS MERELY PAID TO DO WHAT EVERY CITIZEN SHOULD 
DO ON HIS OWN . EVEN TO THIS DAY, MANY BRITONS 
BELIEVE THAT A STRONG, UNIFIED POLICE FORCE COULD LEAD TO A 
POLICE STATE . AS A RESULT, THEY HAVE 158 SEPARATE LOCAL 
FORCES WHOSE CHIEF CONSTABLES ARE ACCOUNTABLE ONLY TO THEMSELVES . WHEN 
A ROYAL COMMISSION IN 1962 RECOMMENDED CONTINUATION OF THIS SYSTEM, COMMISSION 
MEMBER A . L . GOODHART AN EMINENT U.S . JURIST 
WHO WAS THEN MASTER OF OXFORD'S UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OBJECTED THAT A 
SINGLE, CENTRALLY CONTROLLED POLICE NETWORK WOULD BE INFINITELY MORE EFFICIENT, AND 
MORE DEMOCRATIC, THAN THE " EMPTY VELVET GLOVE " WITH WHICH 
BRITAIN IS NOW TRYING TO DEFEAT ORGANIZED CRIME . " THE 
DANGER IN A DEMOCRACY, " SAID HE, " DOES NOT LIE 
IN A CENTRAL POLICE THAT IS TOO STRONG BUT IN LOCAL 
POLICE FORCES THAT ARE TOO WEAK . " IN DAY-TO-DAY POLICE 
WORK, THE LACK OF LIAISON BETWEEN FORCES MORE THAN 50 PER 
CENT HAVE FEWER THAN 350 MEN INEVITABLY HELPS THE CRIMINAL . 
ANOTHER BOON TO CAREFUL CROOKS : A LAW BY WHICH POLICE 
ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO FILE FINGERPRINTS OF CONVICTED CRIMINALS, NOT OF 
SUSPECTS . BUCKINGHAMSHIRE'S CHIEF CONSTABLE, BRIGADIER JOHN CHENY CHENEY (ETON, SANDHURST, 
INDIA), DID NOT EVEN ENLIST SCOTLAND YARD'S HELP IN THE TRAIN 
ROBBERY UNTIL NEARLY A DAY LATER . WHAT WORRIES MANY EXPERTS 
IS THAT SUCH BUILT-IN INEFFICIENCY CAN ONLY COST BRITAIN'S BOBBIES WHAT 
REMAINS OF THEIR OLD PRESTIGE . AS IT IS, THEY ARE 
FIGHTING THE GREATEST CRIME WAVE IN THE NATION'S HISTORY WITH INSUFFICIENT 
MANPOWER AND INADEQUATE COORDINATION, AMID DEEPENING PUBLIC DISTRUST THAT SUGGESTS THEIR 
LOT WILL BE UNHAPPIER YET THE LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR, A CABINET 
MEMBER WHO EARNS $5,600 A YEAR MORE THAN THE PRIME MINISTER, 
SERVES SIMULTANEOUSLY AS THE GOVERNMENT'S CHIEF LEGAL ADVISER, THE NATION'S SENIOR 
JUDGE, TITULAR HEAD OF THE LEGAL PROFESSION AND SPEAKER OF THE 
HOUSE OF LORDS . 