GREAT BRITAIN ALDERMASTON'S AMEN ? SINCE 1958, WHEN THE CAMPAIGN FOR NUCLEAR 
DISARMAMENT STAGED THE FIRST ALDERMASTON MARCH, ITS 52-MILE EASTER PARADE HAS 
TURNED INTO BRITAIN'S BIGGEST LUNATIC FRINGE BENEFIT . BEARDIES AND WEIRDIES 
SOON STOLE THE SPOTLIGHT FROM THE PACIFIST PARSONS AND LEFT-WING LABORITES 
WHO STARTED THE BAN-THE-BOMB MOVEMENT . IT ALSO BECAME EVIDENT THAT 
THE FOUR-DAY SHUFFLE WAS BEING MANIPULATED BY SUCH HIGHLY MOTIVATED " 
PILGRIMS " AS COMMUNIST AGITATORS, ANARCHISTS, AND A FEW THUGS TO 
BOOT . LAST WEEK, AFTER THE SIXTH ANNUAL SPECTACULAR ENDED IN 
BLISTERS AND BOMBAST IN HYDE PARK, MOST RESPONSIBLE BRITONS INCLUDING SEVERAL 
C.N.D . CO-FOUNDERS WERE MORE EAGER TO BAN THE MARCH THAN 
THE BOMB . THEIR DISILLUSIONMENT WAS THE RESULT OF A STRATAGEM 
THAT STRUCK EVEN THE TOLERANT BRITISH AS A DISLOYAL ACT . 
EVEN BEFORE THE MARCHERS LEFT ALDERMASTON, THERE APPEARED COPIES OF A 
CRUDELY MIMEOGRAPHED, TWELVEPAGE DOCUMENT HEADED : DANGER ! OFFICIAL SECRET . 
INSIDE, ITS ANONYMOUS AUTHORS DECLARED : " WE ARE SPIES FOR 
PEACE . WE HAVE DECIDED TO PUBLISH AN OFFICIAL SECRET . 
THERE ARE THOUSANDS MORE SECRETS IN CAPTIVITY . THIS IS NOT 
THE ONLY ONE WE SHALL RELEASE . " THE INFORMATION IT 
CONTAINED WAS, IN FACT, HIGHLY CLASSIFIED : THE LOCATIONS, CODE NAMES 
AND TELEPHONE NUMBERS OF TWELVE REGIONAL SEATS OF GOVERNMENT FROM WHICH 
BRITISH AUTHORITIES WOULD ATTEMPT TO RESTORE ORDER IN THE EVENT OF 
NUCLEAR ATTACK . " THIS, " EXCLAIMED HOME SECRETARY HENRY BROOKE, 
" IS THE WORK OF A TRAITOR . " BY NO 
COINCIDENCE, THE ONLY EMERGENCY HEADQUARTERS DESCRIBED IN DETAIL WAS R.S.G . 
6, AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER IN THE BERKSHIRE WOODS ALONG THE MARCHERS' 
ROUTE FROM READING TO LONDON . IGNORING C.N.D . OFFICIALS' PLEAS 
TO STAY ON THE MAIN ROAD, 1,000 OF SOME 15,000 MARCHERS 
LEFT THE PROCESSION AND POURED DOWN THE COUNTRY LANE MARKED ON 
THE " PEACE " SPIES' MAP . AFTER A SCUFFLE WITH 
POLICE, THE SHOUTING DEMONSTRATORS STAGED A MASS SQUAT AROUND THE BUNKER 
FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR, UNTIL ONE OF THEIR LEADERS ANNOUNCED 
: " WE HAVE ACHIEVED OUR OBJECT . " WHATEVER THEIR 
REAL OBJECT, THE " SPIES FOR PEACE " TRIGGERED A FULL-SCALE 
SCOTLAND YARD INVESTIGATION AND BROUGHT PRIME MINISTER HAROLD MACMILLAN SCURRYING BACK 
FROM HIS COUNTRY HOME TO LONDON FOR CONSULTATION WITH HIS CABINET 
. NEVERTHELESS, CANON JOHN COLLINS, C.N.D . CHAIRMAN AND PRECEPTOR OF 
ST . PAUL'S CATHEDRAL, SIMPERED ON TV THAT MOST MARCHERS " 
TREATED IT RATHER AS A JOKE . " HIS MERRIMENT WAS 
NOT SHARED BY JAMES CAMERON, A CRUSADING JOURNALIST WHO HAS BEEN 
A PROMINENT FIGURE IN C.N.D . SINCE ITS INCEPTION . CAMERON 
CONCEDED SADLY THAT THE BAN-THE-BOMB MARCHES HAD BECOME A VEHICLE FOR 
TOO MANY SECONDARY AND DUBIOUS INTENTIONS . " ADMITTING BELATEDLY THAT 
C.N.D . HAD BEEN TAKEN FOR A RIDE, CAMERON CRIED : 
" GOD SAVE US FROM OUR FRIENDS . 