#! /usr/bin/perl require "cgi-lib.pl" ; %map11 = ( 'a' => 'stinky' , 'b' => 'lumpy' , 'c' => 'buttercup' , 'd' => 'gidget' , 'e' => 'crusty' , 'f' => 'greasy' , 'g' => 'fluffy' , 'h' => 'cheeseball' , 'i' => 'chim-chim' , 'j' => 'poopsie' , 'k' => 'flunky' , 'l' => 'booger' , 'm' => 'pinky' , 'n' => 'zippy' , 'o' => 'goober' , 'p' => 'doofus' , 'q' => 'slimy' , 'r' => 'loopy' , 's' => 'snotty' , 't' => 'falafel' , 'u' => 'dorkey' , 'v' => 'squeezit' , 'w' => 'oprah' , 'x' => 'skipper' , 'y' => 'dinky' , 'z' => 'zsa-zsa' ) ; %mapN1 = ( 'a' => 'diaper' , 'b' => 'toilet' , 'c' => 'giggle' , 'd' => 'bubble' , 'e' => 'girdle' , 'f' => 'barf' , 'g' => 'lizard' , 'h' => 'waffle' , 'i' => 'cootie' , 'j' => 'monkey' , 'k' => 'potty' , 'l' => 'liver' , 'm' => 'banana' , 'n' => 'rhino' , 'o' => 'burger' , 'p' => 'hamster' , 'q' => 'toad' , 'r' => 'gizzard' , 's' => 'pizza' , 't' => 'gerbil' , 'u' => 'chicken' , 'v' => 'pickle' , 'w' => 'chuckle' , 'x' => 'tofu' , 'y' => 'gorilla' , 'z' => 'stinker' ) ; %mapNN = ( 'a' => 'head' , 'b' => 'mouth' , 'c' => 'face' , 'd' => 'nose' , 'e' => 'tush' , 'f' => 'breath' , 'g' => 'pants' , 'h' => 'shorts' , 'i' => 'lips' , 'j' => 'honker' , 'k' => 'butt' , 'l' => 'brain' , 'm' => 'tushie' , 'n' => 'chunks' , 'o' => 'hiney' , 'p' => 'biscuits' , 'q' => 'toes' , 'r' => 'buns' , 's' => 'fanny' , 't' => 'sniffer' , 'u' => 'sprinkles' , 'v' => 'kisser' , 'w' => 'squirt' , 'x' => 'humperdinck' , 'y' => 'brains' , 'z' => 'juice' ) ; &ReadParse(*input) ; $rhost = $ENV{'REMOTE_HOST'} ; $oldname = $input{'name'} ; ($firstname) = ($oldname =~ /^\s*(\S+)\s.*$/) ; ($lastname) = ($oldname =~ /^.*\s(\S+)\s*$/) ; $let11 = lc(substr($firstname, 0, 1)) ; $letN1 = lc(substr($lastname, 0, 1)) ; $letNN = lc(substr($lastname, length($lastname)-1)) ; $newfirst = ucfirst( $map11{$let11} ) ; $newlast = ucfirst( $mapN1{$letN1} ) . $mapNN{$letNN} ; print &PrintHeader ; print < New name for ${oldname}

New name for ${oldname}

Old firstname is ${firstname}
Old lastname is ${lastname}
New firstname is ${newfirst}
New lastname is ${newlast}

From henceforth, ${firstname} ${lastname} shall be known as ${newfirst} ${newlast}.

EOF